And here she is
Wisdom tells me Im nothing
Love tells me Im everything
Within the two, my life flows...

Heartbeat of a Her

12:19 am

Its been one long week.. Been to the centre for 7 days straight without any off days and Im getting worn out at the moment. A massage right this minute sounds so gooooooooooooooood. Heck, a massage sounds good anytime of the day!

Well, guess what? As most of you would have known, I just have this fetish for shoes and if you put me in front of a clothes, shoes, accessories, bags or food shop, my legs will naturally bring me to the one selling, what else but shoes. So today, or should I say yesterday since its already past midnight, when I was with the gals at Orchard, I decided to entertain this fetish of mine again.

So while the girls were looking at tops at Cotton On, I drifted off to Shcu ( my first stop of the evening ) to feast my eyes on their collection. They were having a sale! I found a pair of heels I liked and so I asked for a pair of my size to try on when the salesgirl informed me that the pair was made of pig skin. Heh?! Ok, so tak jadi... like duh. But really, it was pretty. Going at a great price too! Haiz...

Next, when the gals were at Max and Moore ( did i get tis spelling right? ), I went instead to Charles and Keith which was right opposite. It was super crowded as they too, were having a sale. So I browsed around and ta-daa, something caught my eyes; a pair of black-and-white pair. So the salesgirl retrieved my size for me but disappointingly, the new pair she gave me did not look new at all! It had yellow stains and crumpled lines on the cloth of the shoe. So.... I gave it a miss.

Lastly, I made my way to Pretty Fit when the girls were still at Forever 21 and instantly saw a pair I liked. Pretty Fit was having a sale too. ( These shops are doing an excellent job of stopping me from purchasing a pair. ) I really really liked this pair.. Comes in 2 colours and so I asked for a pair of my size and well well well, the salesgirl simply replied, " There are no more of your sizes. For both colours." What?! Im that unlucky huh....

Ok great... im thinking, my parents are silently praying that I do not add anymore pairs to the growing pain they are seeing outside the house door. Each time we come back home together, they'll never fail to say, " Da la Kak, cukup kasut... ni semua pun tak tersusun. (Enough of your shoes. You are not even arranging the ones you have properly.) " And I guess their prayers were answered. Haha!

But seriously, I cant believe it.. Not even a pair with all those sales?! Macam macam rintangan...Ku Pasrah....

Labels: blog, shoes

10:50 pm I am not seeing it all clearly and I dont know why. One thing I do know is how real i am feeling this and it makes me feel so lost. Its not just one of those girly-moodswings-pms thingy. I keep on hearing these voices in my head. I told myself that these are just emotions playing high and I try so hard to ignore them but each day when I wake up, its still there. As real as it is. I really dont know what the problem is, or rather what my problem is.

At the end of all these, I hope I'll find what Im looking for.. because for now, Im not seeing it.

Dear O Mighty One.. Give me strength and guidance.
Amin.

Labels: blog

10:46 pm
Boo hoo... Im sick..
Perhaps its about time?
I think my body's sounding its own siren..
Im getting back this health prob which have disappeared for a
couple of years now.
And, ta-daa, its back.
They say, positive thinking can get rid of even the most terminal diseases.
So, Su... think positive!

These days, im often left wondering.. "What is the purpose of each and every one of us on this earth?".
Do you know? Do tell...

At the moment, Im getting a little excited about this something - something Im planning to carry out.
Spoke to some closed friends for help and so far so good.
Will let you know if it all works out.
But im hoping so badly that it will, coz somehow Im beginning to feel that, that is my purpose in life.
:)

Labels: blog

1:21 am

Till the seas turn to tears of sorrow,

Till the moon wearies of its daily voyage,

Till the last star abandons a forlorn sky,

Till then shall I love thee,

Till then shall I live in joy.

Stuart Macfarlane



Thanks for bringing me lots of laughter.. joy.. and smiles.
When it matters most....

Labels: blog, poem

12:27 am

Yesterday was Civil Defence Day..
And the boys showed true patriotism.
ahhh... so cute...












Sorry cik ti.. stole pictures again.. Cant resist.
Wasnt that the same thing I said last time?
Ish ish ish!

Labels: blog

1:23 am Ok,thats enough blogging for one night.. or shd i say morning.
Hopefully, the next entry wun be in another 2 weeks time.

Happy Thursday, peepz!

Labels: blog

1:14 am Jaz suggested a romantic walk by the park since we were going to catch a romantic movie.. And so we did... The question is, was it really romantic? The walk i mean... :)

Labels: blog, girlfriends

1:13 pm
I miss updating my blog as regularly as I used to but somehow it was just impossible to find the time and when i do find it, i get too tired to do anything. Its amazing to see and know and notice and hear that so many things are happening. Not only to me but also around me. Life, you may never know what to expect.

Which makes me think about my life. ALOT. The simple questions such as Where / What i would be doing in 2 years time? Will I be able to get what I dream of in life? Or will everything still remain the same? Hmm,ok so those are not-so-simple questions. But I do think about them. ALOT.

There's one movie which is stuck on my mind now. PS, I love you. BEAUTIFUL illustration of love.. one which is not only between that of a man and woman but beyond that. Most importantly, its message of loving oneself is commendable. Many of us forget that the essence of life is to have a passion for something which we are deeply in love with.

I have a feeling I'll be watching it again... *winks*. Oh yes, Kite Runner.. till we meet. If we get to that is.

Labels: blog

1:37 pm I wish I have this supreme power to understand what goes on in the minds of children. Better still, if I can read their minds. Maybe not only childrens' but teenagers' as well. :) Will make my job much much easier. Perhaps, I'll be able to elaborate this another time. InsyaAllah.

The weather has been playful.. Causing me to have on and off fevers past few days. Gee... And i realised after taking extra panadol, my energy goes towering over Mount Everest that I cant even sit still. Causing me to be super hyper with my students. So i come up with whacky things to do, things which will never even come to mind without the inclusion of panadol.

You know the statement, "taking things for granted"? Its been buzzing in my ears quite a bit these days.
Its just that Im wondering now, "Who/what is taking who/what for granted?".

A number of celebrations are coming up starting from next week and of course ending with Sulina Bambina's bday party. Broke.Broke.Broke.Broke.Broke.

I miss meeting up with my mates and all. Thank goodness last month I was out kinda alot so maybe it balances out? But still, galfrens, miss you all!

Ok gotta run.. (as usual). Looking forward to the day when I can just sit infront of the computer 'doing nothing'.

Labels: blog

10:54 pm I feel bitter.
There's no other way to put it.

At times I feel like letting my tears flow
Just to let everything go
Bottling up is no good, they say.

Soon, very soon,there will be a shift
A shift which I am not welcoming
But nonetheless it is inevitable
Two of the people whom I am dependable on a lot
Will no longer be there as much.

I feel like slapping myself silly.

You are a shame to yourself, Su.
You can do this.
Be strong.

I just cant help how Im feeling
My exams are in 4 months time
Go for classes, study and catch up
I have my teaching assignments
To add on, the work @ the centre is in my hands
And as usual money matters shatter me.

I've not been sleeping well
I keep on waking up every hour
And stare into the darkness
Then my mind goes into a whirl
Coz my body is tired and needs sleep
But my mind refuses to obey.

Then in the day, I become edgy
Which translates into grouchy Su.

Fast forward
Thats what im in now
Things are moving at triple the speed.

The question is,
Can i stay in front?

Labels: blog

12:07 pm

I was reading my aunt's blog and i came across this.. Ha! Just so hilarious!

**the following ( in green ) is a cut-and-paste from my aunt's site.**

A teleconservation between Imin and me.

Me @ work, Imin @ Mak's house.

Imin: Ibu! Adik ‘pee pee’ in school!

Me: Oh dear! Should we tell Ayah?

Imin: Yes!

Me: But then, Ayah will pinch Adik!

Imin: Yes! I like!

Sigh. Sibling rivalry.

Labels: blog