Heartbeat of a Her

And here she is
Wisdom tells me Im nothing
Love tells me Im everything
Within the two, my life flows...

her journey her love her other voices her and herself

Heartbeat of a Her

Monday, September 15, 2008 oh-so-sweet

11:02 pm

I'll cut to the chase.. Im feeling bloated with tonnes of sweet victory.. I received my exam results in the mailbox today. As per normal, my heart went racing and my test tightened for the next few seconds as I fumbled with the envelope,trying to open it.. And then, everything which happened within the last one year, raced through my mind. The start of my 3rd year was a real challenge.. The Tampines centre had just closed down. We were shifting back to Bukit Batok, adjusting to many changes, trying to get over the thousands of problems, financially, emotionally, mentally,you name it. I had to admit, it was really difficult trying to do both, studying and coping with whatever which was going on. But I knew, quitting was not an option. I also knew that it was not possible for me to study full time anymore and hence, I went on a crazy trail.. Self studied, gathered my own notes, rushed through notes, mainly relying on my instincts, recalling every single useful tip my lecturers ever gave me about exams and last May-June, as I went into the exam halls, I thought to myself, " Su, this is one of the craziest things you have done. Sitting for exams when you were barely in class." For the past 2 years, I was struggling with some modules even with full time lecturers around.

So, I took a deep breath, willing myself to be prepared for what I was about to see on my result slip, and I literally cried to tears, mind you, not sobbingly of course.. I was just too happy. I cleared my modules! Alhamdullillah! Even did unexpectedly well in one of them.. Oh gosh, the happiness certainly dwarfed Mount Everest. I am so proud of myself. Hehehehe. This personal victory is oh-so-sweet. All the sacrifices, they were worth it.