Heartbeat of a Her

And here she is
Wisdom tells me Im nothing
Love tells me Im everything
Within the two, my life flows...

her journey her love her other voices her and herself

Heartbeat of a Her

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 hey you

10:02 am

I have not had the time to post entries these days. Mostly, I just associate the computer with more work and so when I get home, I do not even want to get near it.

But today, Im here to make a small point about something in my life. Something which people find rather intriguing. And I hope that once this is done, I can free myself from having to do any explanations regarding this matter.

If you are a friend, a family member or an acquaintance, you will see that I can just immerse myself with the surroundings and if you laugh, I'll join in on your laughter, if you cry, I'll join in on your tears. But rarely, will I open up to you and talk about ME. It goes both ways, when Im down, I will rarely tell anyone about it, preferring to keep it to myself ( to me, why do I have to bother other people ) and when Im having good times, I will still keep it to myself. Why? Because I dun see the need to gloat to others.

Basically I wun tell you much about me unless you are really really really really close to me ( which I need less than 5 fingers to do the counting ).

So it kinda gets to me when there are people who think they know what Im doing in my life but in reality know close to nothing, feel they can pass comments and judgements and hey, probably even throw in some 'advice' ( my toes are laughing ) for ME. Hmmm....

I'll just get to the point here..

I do not think that its fair for you to think that I am not working just because I am not employed by one company or another.

I do not think that its fair for you to think that what I am doing every single day does not constitute as a job just because I do not have a 'boss' overlooking me.

I do not think that its fair for you to think that whatever I am doing does not reap in any rewards or to put it bluntly; money, just because I do not flaunt what I have.

because

every single day, I work more hours than people my age do
every other day, I rack my brains trying to solve messy matters which I face
every single day, even when I do not have a 'boss' overlooking me, I keep myself disciplined because of the things and responsibilities that I have.

And if you are wondering and thinking that I will be able to get more experience with a job, may I say, I do have a job now and I have been working since the age of 16 when mostly my peers were busy enjoying their holidays and what-nots. With what I am doing now, you will be surprised by how much I have learned not only about the world but most importantly about myself.

I am running a business.. and its tough, I will not lie and no, it wun get any easier... and yes, if it is security which I am looking for, then I will go out there and send in my resumes and work for others. But I believe in myself and I have planned this route for me because I am thinking about my life 10-20 years down the road. Not just for today.

Im proud of myself that I bounced back up when I got hit and that I am trying again. And Im glad that God gave me the strength because looking at the centre and at the number of students growing each week give me a huge sense of satisfaction even when it means I have to work long hours and over the weekends.

If you genuinely care and are concerned, shower me with lots of support because that is what I need at this moment. :) And I will be thankful, really.

And well, as for these pessimists, I have learnt that they are everywhere and come in all forms.
And beware, they will always exist.